What was I saying?

My beautiful, delicious chives in full bloom.

Oh yeah...I've been having problems with my memory lately. I do have a good excuse though, at least this time, because I can blame it on the meds I'm taking for nerve pain. I remember when I became premenopausal and I was working for an International company in San Francisco as a graphic designer. My brain turned to oatmeal. Seriously. I would have to write down the first part of a phone number because I would have forgotten it by the time I got to the second half. Post It Notes became my friends. I wrote everything down because otherwise it would be lost in a heartbeat. Not good while on a high profile job working directly with the board of directors for a huge company.

But then real menopause hit and wonders of wonders, my mind became clear again! It made those hot flashes that felt like the flesh was crisping off of my body almost worth it. And the insomnia. Can't forget the insomnia that left me feeling like a zombie during the day. A zombie who could remember things though!

Then came the years of clarity when, other than my rapidly aging body, I mentally felt like I did when I was an adolescent, before puberty reared it's disruptive head. And now I'm back to wandering aimlessly, going back to read lists written on white boards to figure out 'What was I doing?'

That's okay though...thanks to Mike there aren't a lot of demands on me these days. I get the animals fed on time. I take my meds morning and evening; but only because I got one of those weekly pill dispensers that you fill up on Sunday and then when you wonder whether or not you took your pills, you can go and look. That is if you can remember what day it is.

I'm not complaining. If I get half way through a project then get distracted and get half way through another one, I can always rediscover the first one. No one is checking on me and there aren't any big deadlines hovering over my head. Thank goodness because if there were, I'd fail miserably.

So anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah...I've had a really bad back since 1991 when I blew out a disc. At the time, nothing showed on x-rays and I was diagnosed by symptoms. I lived with it for all of these years and never let it stop me from doing what I wanted to do. I would go through long stretches where I had little to no pain at all, though I was always careful because that level of nerve pain would make you sell out your best friend. Then around three years ago, I stopped having any kind of stretches without pain. My right foot became constantly numb and at times, the pain would stop me in my tracks.

Then another curious benefit of having cancer showed up. I asked my oncologist for a copy of the report from my last PET/CT scans and there it was 'degenerative disc disease and vacuum disc syndrome'. Cool. I finally had something that showed exactly where and what the problem was. I got an appointment with a spine specialist and went to see him.

His diagnosis? I have a ruptured disc (duh). I have permanent nerve damage (duh). I have no Achilles reflex on the right side (duh). But on the good side, while he was doing strength and flexibility tests, he kept telling me 'You shouldn't be able to do that!'. This was in response to things like asking me to 'bend over with your knees straight and reach towards the floor as far as you can but don't hurt yourself' and I promptly plopped my palms flat on the floor. Hey, I've worked hard to keep some strength and flexibility!

The result? After we talked about options like having a neurologist go in and fry the offending nerves, which would last about two years, he prescribed for me a thing called a TENS Unit. This little contraption sends an electrical impulse through little pads that you stick on at the source of the pain, or on the pain, or around the pain. The idea is that it disrupts and stops the pain signal at least temporarily. I had my PT appointment yesterday where I learned how to use it. Wow. I had it on for a total of an hour and a half last night and made it through the night with little or no pain. I had it on for an hour this morning and I feel like I usually do after several hours of moving around. Cool.

Now, what was I saying?

TENS, my new best friend.